Everyone has stories that create who they are and
what they believe, for better or for worse. Although events leading to suffering differ, the core of suffering, the feeling of being alone, is the
same. We are all looking for community, for comfort, and for warmth. Moments
that cause suffering can become moments where we find what we need. As a
Christian family, we can be a beacon of hope in a world of suffering, spreading
out into the streets and inviting all to the banquet of love and acceptance.
In situations of rape, we can just as easily be a beacon of shame, casting shadows and making the survivor feel unwanted and unloved instead of offering guidance and a hand to hold. In a society so focused on sexuality, it is easy for us to try to qualify what makes something a crime against humanity. Innocent until proven guilty leaves the victim on the line, waiting to see if the Good Samaritan is real or just a story we tell inside the safe, white walls of a church building. The Urban Gospel Mission, a website for young Christian adults, posted an article last year on sexuality and culture. Instead of focusing on what Christians can do to influence culture positively, the focus was on women’s clothing choices. It ended with the words, “I hope by reading this article there will be someone who will consider this message and rethink of how their choice of attire is representing themselves and their view of God. Women, real beauty is found in Christ. And wearing modest attire is not only for the benefit and protection of yourself, but also to help the men around you from stumbling.” Even within an article that on the surface has nothing to do with sexual assault, the stage is set.
We feel sorry for her if she wore jeans and was raped, but not if she wore a short dress. If she wore a short dress, she made him stumble and he could not control it. We view rape as a member of a jury, deciding when we should or should not walk alongside the victim. Instead of seeing the survivor as our sister, as a piece of the beautiful puzzle of humanity, we see her as a weak link that pulls us down.We cannot keep creating a culture of unsafe space. We cannot keep watching young girls try to figure it out on their own because we do not want to help them afterwards. We cannot keep refusing to talk about rape and sexual assault or pretend it’s not there. We have to face reality: one in six women. One in six. Not doing anything about women suffering creates a silence so piercing that it rings out across the nation, begging for the day we create a space of safety and comfort for those that need us the most. Our job is to be. Be there for one another. Be there for humanity. Be there for all we share life with. The true meaning of life together takes place when we see suffering, heartbreak, and pain through the lens of connection and understanding instead of separation and disengagement.
In situations of rape, we can just as easily be a beacon of shame, casting shadows and making the survivor feel unwanted and unloved instead of offering guidance and a hand to hold. In a society so focused on sexuality, it is easy for us to try to qualify what makes something a crime against humanity. Innocent until proven guilty leaves the victim on the line, waiting to see if the Good Samaritan is real or just a story we tell inside the safe, white walls of a church building. The Urban Gospel Mission, a website for young Christian adults, posted an article last year on sexuality and culture. Instead of focusing on what Christians can do to influence culture positively, the focus was on women’s clothing choices. It ended with the words, “I hope by reading this article there will be someone who will consider this message and rethink of how their choice of attire is representing themselves and their view of God. Women, real beauty is found in Christ. And wearing modest attire is not only for the benefit and protection of yourself, but also to help the men around you from stumbling.” Even within an article that on the surface has nothing to do with sexual assault, the stage is set.
We feel sorry for her if she wore jeans and was raped, but not if she wore a short dress. If she wore a short dress, she made him stumble and he could not control it. We view rape as a member of a jury, deciding when we should or should not walk alongside the victim. Instead of seeing the survivor as our sister, as a piece of the beautiful puzzle of humanity, we see her as a weak link that pulls us down.We cannot keep creating a culture of unsafe space. We cannot keep watching young girls try to figure it out on their own because we do not want to help them afterwards. We cannot keep refusing to talk about rape and sexual assault or pretend it’s not there. We have to face reality: one in six women. One in six. Not doing anything about women suffering creates a silence so piercing that it rings out across the nation, begging for the day we create a space of safety and comfort for those that need us the most. Our job is to be. Be there for one another. Be there for humanity. Be there for all we share life with. The true meaning of life together takes place when we see suffering, heartbreak, and pain through the lens of connection and understanding instead of separation and disengagement.
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